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Marilyn && Penndot

I have had a very stressfully couple of days.

On Sunday, I was minding my own way, and getting something to eat & drink before Dave came. And I was pouring my green tea and I hear this loud BOOM. I knew, that it was MY car. My driveway isn't very big, so I have to park it out on the street. Well, some bitch in a silver neon crashed into my car at 3. I screamed at the top of my lungs... SOMEONE HIT MY FUCKING CAR~! and started crying. She was probably speeding, I don't know for sure, but she dropped her purse and was looking for it, and went straight into my car. My allignemnt is fucked up, and my back axel. They think my transmission pin came out because she moved my car 2 feet after she hit it. Im furious, I saved for 18 years to get a car, and I finally get the one I want, and she hits it. Who the fuck hits a parked car????

Today, was my drivers test. I got to the PENNDOT building 45 min. before I am supposed thinking that I might get in early. Well, I was wrong. The line wrapped around the building, and took me an hour to get up to the lady. I went back to acutally take my test, and there was three cars before me. My dad asked them how long they were waiting and they woman said about an hour. The guy was on a fucking break. You have appts. why would you take your lunch break? So the first car gets their lisence, the secound and third fail because they can't parrallel park. The kid before me, had backup sensers on his car, that told him where to turn. He pretty much cheated, and they intructor gave him another chance. But he failed. Then comes me, no mind you that I had this ass hole a month ago, and he failed me for driving 3 under the speed limit. So I parrallel park perfectly, and then start to drive. I get to the intersection and turn on my left turn signal, this other car came down the hill, and waved me on saying that I could go. I turned, and the instructor said that I could have gotten us into an accident, and he made me go back to the place. My dad asked what I did wrong, so he could help me out, and the guy didn't even look at him, just said that I needed some practice and to come back later. I have been driving for a year now. Who does this guy think he is? I don't know, but I am very upset. I have another appt. in Aug. somewhere else, because I cannot have this guy again. And to make matters worse, the guys at work are going to be mean, because I am 18 and have no license. I feel like a complete loser.



Kat ..... is back

Wow~!! I guess I have been gone for a really long time. School kind of kicked in, and I got super busy. Work was taking over my life, and I couldn't stand it anymore. My  best friend went into the AirForce, but then came home 3 weeks later because of her knee =[. I quit my job at TJ Maxx because they suck ( never go there!!!) And didn't have a job for 3 months. I failed my driver's lisence, because I was too cautious of a driver... boo to that dumb ass guy that failed me. But I did get a car, and I love it more than anything. It's a white 2003 Mailabu that I named Marilyn, and who said that boys were the only ones that named cars. I graduated June 8th, 2007. It was a friday night, over 90 degrees and boring as hell. My best friend was there, with my family and boyfriend. ( yes, sir David and I are still together, and going strong. )  I got a new job at Staples, and I love the people I work with, but I hate being a cashier. Oh well, it pays more than TJ MAXX, and the people rock. Im going for my lisence again in a week, and hopefully I get it.

So there is my life for the past year.... wow =]



Aug. 31st, 2006

Okay, so i forget where i left off on my other entry, but on monday i started school, and a new job. i love it there and i work with amazing people. but right now i have a story to share:::

im taking humanties as my english class. and i love that class with all my heart. really i do. we were talking about the role of "the artist" in society. everyone (but me and this kid ronnie) agreed that artists are too sensitive and they are weird. they dress differnetly and do not take things seriously enough. and then this one girl said that music isn't art, and either is dance, writing, and writing music. my english teaching was getting so pissed off, and she almost had to leave the room. im not trying to be sterotypical, but this girl was a cheerleader. i consider all of you artists since you write journals, and probably do more creative things that i don't know about. and it pissed me off to think that this girl  dosn't consider us artists. yeah i dress differntly than the average teenage girl, but i like that about myself. i have thick black glasses that i love, and i most of the time i paint my nails either black or white. and it kinda clicked in my head... that could  be the reason people make fun of me. i know its stupid, but maybe that is why. i really want to know ya`all's opinion about this. im acutally writing a paper about this subject for my school newspaper. that is how pissed off i am. i probably won't blog for another 3 days. im working this weekend and probably won't get time to comment or write. leave me messages tho~!!!

oh and i made another myspace. hehe ~~~~> myspace.com/beautyinpearls
add me!
Im kind of annoyed right now >.< my friend alec told me he would call me at 430 so we could go to a party together tonight that my friend lauren is having, and its 500 and he hasn't. im waiting till 700 and then i'll probably go over there for a little bit. im not really in a social mood right now. i dunno... plus frankie is going to be there, who is really good friends with this girl alex  who used to be my best friend, but now annoyes the hell out of me. i really don't like putting myself in situations like that where i know i'll be uncomfortable. and it really sucks that im feeling like this two days before school starts. and most likely i'll want to hang out with someone tomorrow, and no one will want to. that shit always happends.. oh well. *sigh*

In other news, i got a job! Not the most amazing job, but it will do for now. i work at TJ MAXX in pottstown. its super easy to get there from my house. so i won't waste alot of money on gas ^_^  i took a dollar pay cut from my last job but i'll be getting alot more hours then my other job, so really i'll be making alot more money. i had my interview on monday, and she called me on wed. saying that i got they job and i could come in on monday and do paperwork and start learning the job. she also told me that i needed working papers, i have them, but i never got them signed by my doctor, so by monday i need to have a physical. so i have on at 315 and i start work at 500. i hate doctors and i have physicals. i haven't had one since i needed one for my permit. does anyone know what they do during a physical? isn't it just like a check up? monday is just going to be crazy. that is also the first day of my senior year. and i really don't know my schedule because my guidence counsler said she would fix my schedule and she never called me back. so the first day of school im going to go into homeroom confused as ever. =/

last night i went to a philadelphia eagles game with my parents, my boyfriend, and my mom's friends. its was super fun. my dad met vince papolli .... you know they guy that disney mad that movie about? invinceable? my dad was the only one that reconized him and went over and said hi and shook his hand. me and dave were just standing there shocked as hell. the eagles won 16-7, defeating the pittsburgh steelers. i was really surprised they won, but i really think it was because of luck.

boys. work. school.

i need some major advice. heres the story::

ive been in the best relationship for the past year and a half. i love him more than anyone i have ever loved before. he makes me the happiest girl. i can pretty much tell him anything, and he already knows. we plan on getting married  after college and after i get a good job, so we aren't poor and we can handle living on our own. we are 3 years apart, but that dosn't matter at all. there is this boy at work that i find extremely attractive. and the funny thing is, he reminds me so much of my boyfriend, they look alike, act alike, and treat me the same way. for some reason i have been having these dreams about the guy at work for the past week. and its sexual dreams at  that. every time i wake up i feel like i was cheating on dave. i told him the first time i had a dream, but after that i didn't, cause i didn't want to hurt his feelings. i guess i am having these dreams because my last day of work is on wed. and i will never see the guy at work again. so the question of the day is this :: is it okay to be attracted to another guy when you love someone else, as long as you don't pursue it? and today when i said goodbye to him i started crying when i was walking to the eye doctor. it was so weird. im not in love with him, at all. its not that.. i don't even know what it is.

other than that ive been looking for jobs. i applied to some today and doing the same tomorrow. i hate finding jobs. it takes forever and most of them don't call you back, and its so nerve wrecking. =[ and i got my schedule for this year. its not bad, i guess. i didn't phys. like i wanted to, so im going to call the guidence counsler and talk to her about it. i also need to take my SAT"s and drivers ed. so much stuff needs to be done.


i have a couple of things to talk about today....

#1 I am so tired of living at home. Its not like i can leave whenever i want to either, since i don't have my license yet. (i still have till december) my parents are driving me crazy with everything. i know i am only 17, but they are honestly treating me like i am 12 and still in middle school. as if you already didn't notice, i am going to be a senior in highschool in three weeks. i will have my license in 5 months and i will be 18 in less than a year. i know they treat me different because of my mental illness and blah blah blah, but i have changed so much in the past couple of years. im not as immature as i was and i can handle situations on my own. i don't need mommy and daddy all the time. i also know that i have childish moments, like i don't want to sleep in my room for some strange reason. but that dosn't mean i have to be told a million times to do something. i can do it on my own. its just frustrating having them tell me a million times to clean my room, or wash the dishes or clean up after myself. i think i am just ready to go to college and live away from my family for four years. summer vacation... deffiantly do not want to come home for that. cause from talking to my sister it is hell. basically because you were living on your own for a year, and then you have to live under their rules for the next three months. hopefully i can find a good job up in kutztown and rent a appt. for the summer and stay there. cause i don't want to come home. but why am i thinking of this now.. i still have one more year left of highschool.... *sigh*

#2 I went to a show last night with a couple of my friends. I was digusted by how many 12 year olds were they, and how they all smoked. granted i started smoking in 8th grade thanks to a wonderfully boyfriend named chris and stupid friends, but they were barely in middle school. the music wasn't really that good. the first band was really bad, their sound system was horrible and i couldn't understand the singer. me and lo wanted to leave after that, that is how bad it was. but we stayed to listen to the second act, and they were amazing. i think they had more expeirence in the music business. since they had shirts made up and they acutally were signed to a record company. they kind of sounded like 30 seconds to mars.. before their second album. but not really. the lead singer was amazing. i bought their cd and i haven't stopped listening to it since. but back to these girls. they thought they were cool cause they were hanging out with older guys that could buy them alcohol and cigaretts. i guess it pissed me off because i was like that back in middle school. i thought i was cool cause my boyfriend did drugs and was a bad ass in a band. i guess ive grown apart from that. and it brought back bad memories of chris. me and lo didn't listen to the last band, we sat on the wall near the graveyard and talked about alot. i love talking to her.

that is pretty much it. i have some good news about new year's eve. but i'll share that another day.
So i have some time to update before i go out today//tonight. i have some news:

++i quit my job~! no more cleaning. haha
++my depressive mood is over. im happy again and crazy as ever. thanks to alot of time with the boyfriend and a long talk with one of my very best friends, i got over it. its really crazy how 3 little hours over the internet can help.
++im going to be doing a couple of classes in the next couple of months so i can be certified and make more money at my other job. im really looking forward to it.
++and i went down a pant size. 11/12 instead of 14/16. its a start right?

so i will be updating more and commenting more. again i am sorry. i love you guys.


Jul. 24th, 2006

ive been in this mood. i guess you could call it a slight case of depression. i go through these alot, i usually come out of it okay. that is probably why i haven't been updating, cause i don't want to bore you with my unhappiness. i promise that i will update and comment more, if you want to cut me from your friends list, you can. i totally understand.


Jul. 19th, 2006

life has been pretty descent lately. i have been working alot, which i can't really complain about because i wanted the hours. but i did get a new job, its at the job i have now, but its doing something different. instead of working in the fucking kitchen, im actually working with the residents. helping them with daily activities and such. i really love it, and i think im going to have enough balls to quit the kitchen. i am so sick of it there, i get treated like shit and i am not respected, plus i don't get a break, and all the other boys do and i really think it has to do with the fact that i am a girl. curt treats me completely differnent than all the other boys, i guess i should say something, but i am not strong enough. i should just quit and leave the place behind me. i deserve better than that, but i wish i could just scream at him and tell him to shut the fuck up, and then leave.

dave got his wisdom teeth taken out yesteday. i am taking care of him the whole week untill sunday. i love spending all this time with him, even if he is sleeping half the time....

Jul. 10th, 2006

i really suck at updating....

my weekend of getting away was amazing, except for sunday afternoon. there is this long story about the medication i am on, and how it makes me gain alot of weight. and i hate it. so i decided to not take it anymore (of course i didn't tell my parents or my docotor). well let me tell you, after not taking it for a week, i was getting pretty bitchy//crazy. me alec kit and corey went to the mall. and alec said something about anerxia and self injury and how it was stupid and discusting, and i told him that i was anerxic for almost a year and i still have thoughts about cutting myself, and he said i was discusting. so in the middle of fucking macy's i start crying. we go into the car and i flip out on him. im in the front and hes in the back seat. he starts crying and then we yelled at eachother for about 5 min. and then we made up. alec tends to make fun of things he dosn't understand. so we talked about it the whole way home and now he understands and we are twins again. that weekend was truelly amazing, i needed some time to get away from work, my parents, and yes my boyfriend. i needed some friends time, and i got it. 4th of july was pretty good, dave came over and we made dinner and did some fireworks. wed. i worked. thursday i was fucking sick as ever. friday i took off of work because i couldn't talk or get the fuck out of bed cause my body hurt so bad. saturday and sunday i wathed queer as folk and drove a little bit. and today i went to work, worked with the two most amazing people, and came home and just chilled out. tomorrow is me and dave's<333 1 and 1/2 anniversery. i have to work 9-5.. a stupid training day, everyone has to go, and its basically just bullshit. 8 hours of bullshit, how fucking fun. well im going to have my phone on me all day, and txt lauren and kit and corey and dave, so that should make it a little bit better. after my stupid shift i am going to dave's cause he is making me dinner. i cannot wait.

oh and dyed my hair the brightest shade of red ever...


beauty in pearls
& when we kiss their perfectly aligned

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